1. |
Singles Mixer
03:59
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Your love created me it wasn't meant for only two
You'd loved and lost and weighed the costs of raising someone new
your dreams of romance didn't work out, but is that such a crime?
Now we're doing fine
Divorce was wise, why despise the one who gave a color to your children's eyes
Raised obliged, religious ties that bound us to a family life that wasn't right
but there's no plight to speak of now
You could say I came from starstuff, sure
You could say I came from a loving god
But I really believe that my parents' intentions were pure
and the way I see it
I exist cuz of a singles mixer in San Francisco in the 80's
Love persists and it warps and shifts and brings new gifts from having babies
I exist cuz of a lover's tryst and I have not missed the trappings of a
stable stagnant magnet for despair
A sham marriage
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2. |
Nobody
03:49
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To eliminate his map for keeps, I saw
in his eyes a sinking boat
and outside, inside
same thing, don't lie
wanna build a wall but it's all 'neath one sky
shots on the news don't shock me now
tension's in the air all around
tomorrow Imma go downtown
what else can we do?
tell me
Am I a sinner if I turn
a blind eye while people burn?
she asked me, "Can I have some food?"
and I told her, "I'm sorry."
she asked me who I think I am
and I told her, "I'm nobody ma'am."
To eliminate his map for keeps, I saw
in his eyes he just wanted someone
someone to listen
someone to touch
someone to say
you didn't fuck up too bad this time
that the end ain't wrote
but i'm not that guy
i too am broke
So am I a sinner if i turn
a blind eye while people burn
I took his
I shook his hand
and I told him, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry man."
I went home to the woman I love
and I slept because I work real hard
yeah I work real hard to stay where I am
So I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry man
Am I a sinner if I turn
a blind eye while people burn
am I a sinner if I turn a blind eye?
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3. |
Hypno
04:19
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Everything I needed to say to you
I only said to myself in the mirror
it's hard to believe we used to be so close
now I know you as the disappearer
Back in the summer of twenty-eleven
you and I spent the week in heaven
it was two years longer falling out of the sky
I wonder when I'll fly again
How did I fall in love with a liar?
I thought I was done with fruitless desire
I was in a trance, we did the dance so smoothely
when you held me in your in hands, it really felt like you knew me
If this was just once in a lifetime, that's okay
now I want different things anyway
through the bad times I've found something good
and now I love myself in ways she never could
but I'd be a liar if I said I was all the way over anything
bring a new lover around and I still might sing the sting
and wonder how did I fall in love with a liar?
I wanted to be warm but I fell into the fire
I was in a trance, we did the dance so smoothely
When she held me in her hands, it really felt like she knew me
and I wanted her to give me what nobody can
to define my opinion of myself as a man
she did what she could, maybe even her best
but then I hypnotized myself out of leaving the nest
and I hypnotized myself out of doing my best
singing "Oh, Hypno
Oh, Hypno"
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4. |
(Mistake)
00:34
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5. |
Tryst
03:45
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Tryst forbade me to shield how it is
I can't blame you for that
a tryst won't save me but it
seems like it might buy some time
Every day we are feeding the impulse
so it won't feed on us
Tryst, I need you but
Right now I need anyone
I see someone new, and it feels the same
I'll always miss you and never know your name
I see someone new, and it feels the same
I'll always miss you and never know your name
Kissed, for now I'll remain in this skin
till it's spread too thin, There's nothing till I'm
kissed, I'm no one if I can't stay in heaven tonight
I hear your words, but I'm not really listening
You won't leave a mark
We crave the light but we're
all stumbling 'round in the dark
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6. |
Cherish
02:10
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When you're young and in the city
You don't wanna settle down
cuz you've still got a shot at pretty
Cherish that while it's around
I have seen how these things crumble
forever weighs a lot, I guess
Hope that this struggle makes me humble
hope I get better with the stress
cuz I am blessed to have this mess
If you want me I'll come runnin
but until then I won't hold my breath
cuz we both know it when we're coming
it's when we don't care what happens next
When I was in high school, I hated emo
How could you fall into that trap?
Now that I'm older, it's wait a minute,
"I've lived every word of that"
and I cannot forget the coffee shop where you said
that your soul is still in my bed
I'll probably never even understand what you meant
but I'll cherish the words that you left in my head
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7. |
(Pushing Rope)
00:42
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8. |
Dead
02:33
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She died and I am still alive
to mop up other peoples' piss
to mosh away graveyard anxieties, proprieties
to light and burn through every passing whim
There's sickness living in my skin
like everybody I act like nothing's wrong
I'd call the doctor, but insurance is just too expensive
I'd rather hurt than play into that con
There's so much more than we will ever know
still i'm bored, can't we go home now?
There's so much more than we will ever see
fine with me, put a movie on
There's so much more than you will ever say
and it's killing you, hoarding all that blame
There's so much more than all these little fears
and they'll fade, with the passing years
People are unlucky
the cruel math of nature is rigid
and rudderless, our lungs pull air
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9. |
Reason
04:27
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Delayed gratification’s the name of the game
I’ll put my faith in the time I’m told it’s supposed to take
And lay bare my flaws at the altar of sin
And amputate my innocence cuz that’s how you win
Flooded with angst, I feel the gun at my head
Cuz I’m too old now, what else could I do instead
But keep grindin’ keep fantasizin’ too
Cuz who am I if I don’t love what I do?
Swimming up the waterfall
Whatever it takes to have it all
I won’t just let my cradle rock
I’ve got the key, now where’s the lock?
Giving up what’s comfortable
Is supposed to feel impossible
It seems I must outrun the clock
I’ve got the key, there’s no need to knock
I better have a damn good reason to be here breathin’
What’s gotten into the air
I better have a damn good reason to keep believin’
I’m not worse for wear
I don’t choose what to care about
Or what I can bear to do without
Stuck with what I love
And what I’ll never rise above
I broke down and cried when he said he didn’t have much longer alive
It’s already happened to friends of mine, I hope he makes it to 65
Red numbers festered and metastasized for him and his first and second wives
They were holdin out for the big payoff in that codependent chaos
And now I’m tracking his trajectory so I don’t repeat his history
His regret is way too potent, it’s atonement
For the sin of not having your shit together
And not being able to make your life better
Succumbing to addiction
And believing too much in fiction
Working too much and reaping too little
He got burned I still hear the sizzle
Working too much and reaping too little I’ll find
That everything I’ll ever do is meagre
Even as the son of an Ivy Leaguer
But I’m not gonna sour to life like him
And everywhere he lost is where I’ll win
Everything I’ll ever do is meagre
Even as the son of an Ivy Leaguer
There are some things I know he did right
And he’s the father I’m gonna be like
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10. |
(Cringe)
00:28
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11. |
Anhedonia
03:55
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I don't wanna "live in the moment"
when this moment feels so hopeless
maybe we should think about the future
maybe I should go to grad school
I'm never gonna go to grad school
this isn't my parent's America
everybody's talking about Nazis
we're on the brink of hysteria
and I am a part of the problem
I didn't vote for the president
I do not recycle, I do not care
I owe no student loan debt
I don't wanna die in Texas
it's still so strange that we live here
came out for the music scene
don't even like any local bands
I don't wanna be in the moment
in this town bleeding hippy bullshit
you can walk the way of the spirit
walk right off the edge of your flat earth
still something keeps me here
despite anhedonia's rage
I got a love you cannot numb
let shallow pleasures sour
swallow your dreams with no chase
can you stomach what you have become?
though our poverty precedes us
though the system spit us out
though the only certainty ya know is doubt
I got a love you cannot numb
i got a love you cannot know
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